Generally, the advice directed toward women is all about softness and flexibility. Make yourself available. Go where he wants you to go. Don’t judge him too early. Ask questions and listen. If you don’t hear back, just keep waiting! Advice for men, on the other hand, is all about action. Be interesting! Talk about the stuff that makes you an individual. Take charge. If she acts aloof, drop it. In other words, the tips for women are all about men (they’re strategies for making yourself into the most appealing possible set of holes—both literal and figurative), while the tips for men…also all about men. The differences are subtle, and perhaps you think I’m going out on a limb here (though I’m not so cynical as to think that any of it is deliberate) but it’s in there. Women: be willing to change yourselves to make men like you. Men: Be yourself and the ladies will find you. Because nothing’s as sexy as pointless and reductive gender roles!

Dating Sites Encourage Men to Be Interesting, Women to Be Doormats

Not surprised, but SERIOUSLYOMGWTF. Based on these “criteria,” it’s no wonder I’m single; I express my individuality too much and it offends individuals of a masculine persuasion because it’s behavior that should only be reserved for gentlemen! Oh, dear!

Honestly, men could learn a thing or two from the “suggested female tips” and all people, regardless of gender, should feel welcome to share their quirks out in the open (dating world or not.)

Seriously, click through and read the entire piece to see full lists of “advice” broken down by gender that major dating sites use. My favorite for the ladies: “Pics with your girlfriends are totally fine, just make sure you are recognizable, and not holding a bottle of Budweiser! (Might send the wrong message!)”

Wrong message? The only message that sends is, “Hi, I have horrible taste in beer!”

For fucks sake, this is why I’ll never stoop to “Internet dating.”